Third Word

Standing near the cross of Jesus were his mother, and his mother's sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing beside her, he said to his mother, "Woman, here is your son." Then he said to the disciple, "Here is your mother." And from that hour the disciple took her into his own home. (John 19:26-27)

“Who is my mother?”

Once, earlier, Jesus’ mother and brothers came to where he was teaching and wanted to talk to him, and he had looked around and said, ‘Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?’ (Mt 12:48) … ‘My mother and my brothers are those who hear the word of God and do it.’ (Lk 8:21)
That’s what we’re supposed to be about: hearing God’s word and doing it. So, when we’re doing what we’re supposed to, we’re living as part of the household of God, and we should treat each other as family… or preferably, as family should be treated.

Nobody can replace your mother; nobody can replace your father, your sister, your son.

But the respect and honor you give your parents, the unconditional but also unrelenting love and concern you have for your children - can inform how you relate to people here and in the Church as a whole.

Almighty God, we pray you graciously to behold this your
family, for whom our Lord Jesus Christ was willing to be
betrayed, and given into the hands of sinners, and to suffer
death upon the cross; who now lives and reigns with you and
the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.  (BCP p. 276 - Good Friday liturgy)

Blood is thicker than water –
and we are bound by Christ’s blood to each other.

As he was dying, Jesus connected the one who loved him
with the one he loved.

He still does:

- he gives you people who love him and asks you to honor and respect them as you would your own parents … Here is your mother

- he gives you people he loves and asks you to love and care for them as you would your own children … Here is your son

Third Word

"Woman, behold your son." ... "Behold your mother."

Did you ever try to comfort a child who's upset because their pet died? Parents sometimes try this:
"We'll get you another fish..." "I don't want another fish! I want my fish!"
Similar is not the same.

'Better' is also not the same. 'Better' even if it is better, mainly just feels 'different' at first, and 'different' feels about the same as 'bad.'
People sometimes tell parents who are marrying off their daughter and watching her leave home and move away, "Don't think of it as losing a daughter; think of it as gaining a son."
Maybe in the future, they'll have a great relationship with the son-in-law also and maybe grandkids who bring a lot of joy to their lives, and that will even be better, but there's no way to know at the time how it will be in the future.

What about a mother sending her son off for military service?
You can see the group of them walking through the airport - him, his mom, his younger sister and his good friend from school.
He's in his uniform, has a bag, really short hair. They come up to the line for security. He sets his bag on the floor. They're all looking at him. He leans down and hugs his mom; her eyes are starting to well up. She shakes her head; she can't say anything.
He looks over at his friend and back at her.
"Mom, Jake's your son now, till I get back. Take care of her, man."
He picks up his bag and walks over to the line, shows his ticket and ID, puts his bag on the conveyor belt and walks through. On the other side, he picks it up, looks back, waves, and goes through the revolving door. They're standing there watching him. She's really crying now. The friend steps up and puts his hand on her shoulder.

What do you say to her?
"Don't think of it as putting your son in danger; think of it as protecting our nation."
It doesn't matter whether or not that's true. It doesn't change the grief and fear of letting him go.

Mary stood, looking up at her son. He says to her, 'Woman, behold your son," and to his friend and disciple, "Behold your mother."
Mary doesn't speak. But what may her heart have been saying?

YOU are my son; I don't want another son.

Don't think of it as losing your son, Mary;
think of it as gaining the whole world...

I don't want the whole world -

I want my son.