Fermentation

Proper 25

Readings: 

Jeremiah 31:7-9

Psalm 126 

Hebrews 7:23-28

Mark 10:46-52

May those who go out weeping, carrying the seed, come again with joy shouldering their sheaves.

Jeremiah and the Psalm today are both talking about the same thing - when God's people return from exile. It was an unbelievable end to a horrific, long ordeal. To hear about it, read the first 28 chapters of Jeremiah.
It might be something like POWs coming home after years in captivity - or like this:

It's striking, some of the words that describe the people's joy in returning - a big mix of emotion:

"Sing aloud with gladness... and say 'Save, O Lord, your people...' With weeping they shall come, and with consolations I will lead them back..."

"When the Lord restored the fortunes of Zion, then was our mouth filled with laughter, and our tongue with shouts of joy"

One person's comments on this passage noted how the Psalmist describes his or her mouth "filled with laughter" - as if it burst out involuntarily. Has anything like this happened to you before? Not so much that you laugh, like you would at a joke, when you are planning on it, but - suddenly and unexpectedly - your mouth is filled with laughter?
In grief or pain, we're often not prepared for joy.

The opposite seems similar in a way. In a time of joy, the pain you have been experiencing but holding at bay to pace yourself suddenly erupts because that pain or separation may finally be ending. If you are familiar with Nelson and Winnie Mandela's story, you may realize that the picture above is not one of joy, simply, but that it's much more complicated. When joy suddenly appears, it carries with it everything that came before. I saw a video of a reunion between one of the Lost Boys of Sudan and his mother. She was so overwhelmed - it seemed like more emotion than her body could contain, and she fell on the floor weeping. Why? Wasn't she happy to see him? Of course, but there's a lot more to it... it's complicated.

Experiences of pain, grief, loss, suffering - these can crush us in ways that change us internally. We are not the same, so experiencing joy afterwards is also not the same - it can be a complex mixture of things - or something else not defined by the simple words we have.

This kind of complex mix of emotions is, I think, what Jeremiah is describing when the people will come back to their homeland after several generations in exile and captivity: shouts of joy, weeping, laughter, consolations...

Last time, I talked about the crumple zone of a car allowing for a controlled crush in a life-threatening crisis.
Another form of controlled destruction is the process of

fermentation.

How is cheese different from milk?


...kimchi or saurkraut from cabbage?

... wine from grapes?


Fermentation or pickling is a controlled process of decay that changes the nature of the food. Somewhat counter-intuitively, this controlled decay actually makes the food more stable - and in many ways is considered to enhance it.

However - it would not seem that way if you were the grape.

Imagine that you've blossomed out into the sun and started growing, soaking up gentle rain, becoming sweet and radiant.

Then a hand pulls you off the vine...
You're disconnected and disoriented. And the next thing you know, you're getting the guts stomped out of you...

Then it's into a barrel - locked away in the dark.
For YEARS
where it's silent and cold...

Making bread is also a controlled process of destruction and fermentation, but instead of going into the dark and cold, it's baked in a fire.

The grain is picked, crushed, even ground into powder sometimes. Then it is mixed with things and given as food for bacteria.
As it swells, it gets punched back down and then thrown in an oven.


If you are feeling like you're getting the life stomped out of you or shut up silently in a dark night of the soul - or you're being pounded and crushed, eaten from inside, and put through a fire, see if the metaphor of fermentation has any resonance for you.This may be a way you can ask God about it - whether the process of destruction you're experiencing is one of fermentation, one that he is in control of. If so, try to allow yourself to be changed, accepting that you can't go back.

This may also be a way to engage the gift of the Eucharist. Knowing what has to happen for grain to become bread and for fruit to become wine, what does it mean for Jesus to give us these gifts and say

"This is my body"

"This is my blood"

Quick to listen, Slow to speak

Lord, when we're asked to speak, give us wisdom in what we say - and when we hear things we don't understand, help us to be quiet and listen.

There is an important balance to listening and speaking. People who speak and people who listen each participate, but, when it comes to teaching or public speaking, the speaker is judged more strictly - it's a big responsibility.

Almighty God, you proclaim your truth in every age by many voices: Direct, in our time, we pray, those who speak where many listen and write what many read; that they may do their part in making the heart of this people wise, its mind sound, and its will righteous; to the honor of Jesus Christ our Lord.

This prayer comes from the BCP; its title is "For those who influence public opinion" and it's one of my favorites. I found it not long after I started attending the Episcopal church, while I was working as a reporter. I was touched and encouraged by the thought that, at any given time, someone with a Book of Common Prayer might conceivably be praying those words - which would mean they were praying for me, even though they wouldn't know it. I wrote the prayer out on a post-it note and stuck it about eye level on the wall above my desk; it was also an excellent standard to measure my work by and goal to shoot for.

Words can be powerfully influential, and our technology allows us to distribute, broadcast, and upload our words to hundreds, thousands, even billions of people all over the world. There's no guarantee that any of them will notice or care, but the possibility of impact is definitely real. With much power comes much responsibility. My message today: use words sparingly - and for good purposes.

Isaiah started us off today with this motivation for speaking:
"The Lord GOD has given me the tongue of a teacher, that I may know how to sustain the weary with a word.

What is one good use of the ability to teach? Sustaining the weary.

A word or two of encouragement at the right time can give an exhausted person new energy to keep going.
One of my friends ran in the Boston Marathon, and she talked about the boost she received from people cheering her on as she started up a hill near the end. I know that, in the middle of a soccer game, I've been able to hear my parents, my coach or my friends yell something, and it did give me a burst of energy. In the hospital, whether you're the caregiver or the patient, or even the doctor, a word, a prayer, can lift your spirits and even provide measurable physical improvement.
Has anyone been on the receiving end of a sustaining word like this?

The opposite can also be true. I can just as easily discourage, hurt, or anger someone with a word.
If you've been following international news this week, you've seen this demonstrated. Some folks in the United States, claiming to represent Christianity, created a video insulting Islam and posted it on YouTube. Their film so incensed people in the Muslim world that, for the last several days, angry people in Egypt, Tunisia and other countries in the middle east have been attacking various places and people representing America; early on, some of them killed a man named Chris Stephens, the US Ambassador to Libya.

As James says, "How great a forest is set ablaze by a small fire! And the tongue is a fire...a restless evil, full of deadly poison."

Your tongue, depending on what you say with it, is a powerful tool for healing or for hurting, for calming people or provoking them.

Bishop Ohl was talking on Thursday about being mindful in how we discuss the upcoming hearings; careless words could easily provoke anger, but careful words have the potential to offer reconciliation.

A while back, I suggested that you imagine Jesus like water, necessary to us for life. It's a good image for this topic too, especially as the court case involving our diocese moves into the spotlight again. You know that you may hear or read things that push your buttons; someone may say something that sets you off. If you open your mouth to answer back and feel your tongue on fire, reach for some water and douse it.

As James also said - "let everyone be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger, for your anger does not produce God's righteousness."

Isaiah seems to have the same idea about listening and speaking.
Right after noting that "the Lord God has given me the tongue of a teacher" he says, "Morning by morning he wakens - wakens my ear to listen as those who are taught."

Listening comes first. Cover your ears. See how that makes it hard to listen? It also leaves your mouth free to say any ridiculous thing. Now cover your mouth. How many hands do you need to cover your ears? How many to cover your mouth? That's a good ratio. Listen at least twice as much as you speak. Kind of like "measure twice, cut once" - I often regret it when I don't.

The presidential election coming up in November may also provide some great opportunities to practice this technique. Civil discourse at these times is often... not. As the image of Christ, we need to be countercultural in this regard.

But James also knows that people don't always hold their tongues, and we often say things we shouldn't. "All of us make many mistakes," he says. "Anyone who makes no mistakes in speaking is perfect..."

We're not perfect. But the gift of speech is a responsibility

Elijah under the broom tree

Readings: 1 Kings 19:4-8    Psalm 34:1-8     Ephesians 4:25-5:2     John 6:35, 41-51

God, thank you for showing us, through Elijah's experience under the broom tree, that in returning and rest we will be saved.

Today, we are going to make some stone soup - several people are contributing, including you, I hope.

Here's what happened on Sunday:

Nancy and Madelyn demonstrated the Old Testament reading by acting out the story of Elijah under the broom tree, ministered to by an angel. If you weren't there, you missed out! They did a great job :-)

Then I discussed it, focusing on Elijah's emotional state, which we can recognize as depression, and here's what I said, basically, starting out with THE CONTEXT of the reading from 1 Kings.

You may know the story about Elijah having a showdown with the prophets of Baal on Mt. Carmel about who was really God: Yahweh or Baal.

The contest was that the prophets of Baal would pray to Baal to light the fire under their sacrifice, and Elijah would pray to God to light the fire under his sacrifice. Whichever god answered with fire would win, and the people would worship that god.

The prophets of Baal went first; they danced around the altar, leaping, shouting, and cutting themselves, until eventually they collapsed from exhaustion, but...

no fire - nothing.

Then Elijah took the field; he rebuilt the altar of the Lord, cut the wood, sacrificed the bull and placed it on the altar, and then he added a few other challenges to the contest. He had the altar doused with water until it was soaked, running down the altar and pooling at the base, filling up a wide trench around the altar.

Then he prayed:

O Lord, God of Abraham, Isaac, and Israel, let it be known this day that you are God in Israel, that I am your servant, and that I have done all these things at your bidding. Answer me, O Lord, answer me, so that this people may know that you, O Lord, are God, and that you have turned their hearts back.

And immediately, FIRE came down from heaven:

Then the fire of the Lord fell and consumed the burnt offering, the wood, the stones, and the dust, and even licked up the water that was in the trench. When all the people saw it, they fell on their faces and said, “The Lord indeed is God; the Lord indeed is God.” Elijah said to them, “Seize the prophets of Baal; do not let one of them escape.” Then they seized them; and Elijah brought them down to the Wadi Kishon, and killed them there.

So, God won; Elijah and the people grabbed and killed all the prophets of Baal. Jezebel, the queen, was incensed when she heard about it.

She sent a messenger to tell him this:

“So may the gods do to me, and more also, if I do not make your life like the life of one of them by this time tomorrow.”

She was putting out a hit on him, sending out her assassins. And coming from Jezebel, you could be sure it was no idle threat.

But, considering that Elijah had just witnessed God sending fire from heaven, you would think he might just laugh at a threat like that, knowing what a powerful God he was serving.

No, he was terrified. He took off - he went all the way to Beersheba, which is far.

Several times in the OT, when people want to say "from one end of the country to the other," talking about Israel, they say "from Dan to Beersheba."

(I'm not advocating the views of the website linked in the previous phrase, but the map is easy to understand and illustrates this point, and the website quotes several of the texts using this phrase. For more on how this phrase has played a role in Zionist colonialism, there are many articles if you do a Google Scholar search for "from Dan to Beersheba" including, for example, this one.) 

"From Dan to Beersheba" might be like us saying, in Texas, "from Orange to El Paso." So, when Elijah went to Beersheba, he went all the way to the edge of the country and kept on going - out into the wilderness - before he finally collapsed under a tree.

What he does and says at that point might not seem to be reasonable, except when we recall that Elijah is a human being, and he is subject to stresses and emotions and the effects they have on mind and body.

After having experienced intense stress, violence, and a life-threatening situation (any of these by itself would do), most people's adrenaline wears off and they kind of crash - feeling depression and fatigue, seeing things in extreme terms and maybe wanting to die. That's exactly what happens to Elijah. He can't run any further, he feels worthless ("I'm no better than my ancestors") he asks God to kill him, and then he falls asleep.

I called Fr. Vernon to get some insight into what depression is and what it looks like. Since he is also Dr. Gotcher, he knows quite a bit about this topic. He said there are 2 kinds: situational depression (from something that has happened), also sometimes called "reactive" depression, and endogenous depression (chemically-based), sometimes called major depression or unipolar depression. Endo-genous means "generated from within." This type is still not completely understood.

Dr. Gotcher said it's very common for people to experience situational depression after a traumatic, especially a life-threatening event. He told a story, which he said I could share, of a time when he spun out on a wet road and went up an embankment, stopping just short of sliding out in front of oncoming cars on the highway. As soon as he caught his breath and realized the car was stopped, he started laughing and crying all at the same time.

I had a complication from surgery in 2005 that sent me into a downward spiral and close to death. About a week later, my first night outside of ICU, I remember looking out the window and seeing the lights of a plane coming into Houston Intercontinental - and I started crying. The world was still going on; I was still in it. I cried off and on the rest of the night.
Depression is one of the normal responses to traumatic stress, even though it may not feel normal compared to how you act most of the time.

People don't normally burst into tears at random moments, wish that they could die, and fall asleep at the drop of a hat - at least, not when they're not depressed. When someone is depressed, all those things are normal.

Just like people aren't normally covered with red dots...   ...unless they have chicken pox or measles, or have been bitten all over by bed bugs, in which case, being covered in red dots is exactly what you would expect.

Elijah was no different than you or me. Elijah, the great prophet, who performed miracles, called on God to send fire from heaven, was taken up into heaven in a flaming chariot - Elijah was a human being, not a super human being. After the big showdown, killing hundreds of people, and then having his life threatened, he became depressed; he was exhausted, he felt his life's work had been pointless, and he wanted to die.

I think it's important to know that, under certain circumstances, all kinds of things can be normal.

God's response is also instructive. God sends an angel who wakes Elijah up and gives him some food.

Then he lets him sleep more.

God cares for Elijah and can provide a model for how we can help each other.

One woman on YouTube (whose video I will link as soon as I find it again) who has experienced depression said the thing that she thinks helps the most is to look after small things: fix a sandwich, wash clothes, bring some tea...


When my aunt came in to see me in the hospital the next morning and found me in tears, she helped me wash my hair. Later, when I got out of the hospital, they took me to their house to look after me for 2 months. The people of St. Mark's, my home parish, brought me food and did all sorts of other simple, thoughtful things. One person brought sweet pea blooms from her garden. Someone else brought me a prayer shawl. My brother and sister-in-law drove to Beaumont to stay with me for a week; they talked to me and took me for walks. A friend offered me a temporary job and helped me find an apartment. And it went on and on.

I said we are going to make soup.

I've started it off, Madelyn and Nancy and Fr. Gotcher have contributed, along with some people from the internet. Now, I'd like you to add something.

Here's what I'm asking you to do: Remember a time you experienced God's care for you like Elijah experienced under the broom tree, and write about it. How were you ministered to? Don't try to tell then entire story - just focus on one instance of God caring for you, in whatever form that took.
Then, read over what you've written and consider whether it's something you'd be willing to share. Feel free to edit until you have what you are comfortable sharing. I recommend leaving out names, unless you specifically want yourself identified. Then, add it into the comments section below.

Something to keep in mind: Being ministered to doesn't mean that, afterwards, everything was solved; the angel woke Elijah up from his rest under the broom tree and gave him more food so he could walk an even longer distance - and then climb a mountain.

It can be a helpful thing to hear other people's experiences. It can also be a helpful exercise to look back on your own story and see God caring for you so that you can offer thanks if you didn't at the time (or again - no danger of offering God too much gratitude). Your stories may offer reassurance of God's presence and hope for someone else.

I also recommend reading how Elijah's story continues in the rest of 1 Kings 19 once he reaches Mt. Horeb.

Nathanael, Jesus, pumpkins, and the Gospel According to Randy Bachman

2nd Sunday after Epiphany, Year B
Lectionary Readings: 1 Samuel 3:1-10(11-20)   Psalm 139:1-5, 12-17   1 Corinthians 6:12-20
John 1:43-51


This morning I'm going to talk about Nathanael and Jesus,

and about Moses and God, the blue people from Avatar, and Bachman-Turner Overdrive.

And pumpkins.

The pumpkins are very important.

Let's start with the Gospel. Jesus decides to go to Galilee and he finds Philip and calls him to follow. Then Philip runs off to get Nathanael, who is not as enthusiastic about it. But as he's walking up, Jesus says "Here is an Israelite in whom there is no deceit" And Nathanael says "How do you know me?" Jesus says he saw Nathanael under the fig tree before Philip called him.
We don't know what that's about, but Nathanael does, and the fact that Jesus also knows convinces him that Jesus is the real deal; he knows what no one else but God would know. For him, it wasn't so much that seeing was believing - it was more being seen.

My nephew Jackson is a year and a half, and before bedtime, he likes somebody to read to him. For a while, his favorite book was God Knows All About Me by Kate Toms,

which is basically Psalm 139 for toddlers.

"From my fingers to my toes,
from my knees to my nose,
God knows all about me!"

There have been profound ways I've learned that God knows all about me, but then there are also little things that seem so insignificant that I never imagined he would care - and he knows those things too. Here's where the pumpkins come in.

I moved here from Beaumont at the very end of August; in early October, I went back to perform a wedding for one of my classmates from Lamar University. After the wedding, as I was driving back up here that Sunday night, I pulled into a gas station and suddenly noticed that there were pumpkins everywhere. I blinked a few times and then started laughing out loud. Why was that so funny? Let me give you the back story:

A couple of weeks before, I had visited St. Alban's in Arlington, where I met their deacon and their rector, who invited me to a meeting about campus ministry at UTA, inexplicably. I wasn't involved at UTA - I wasn't involved with St. Alban's - I wasn't even officially in the diocese yet - but for some reason, I was at this meeting, and they were talking about an idea for a pumpkin carving event, and for some reason, I opened my mouth and offered to bring pumpkins. As soon as I said it, I thought, "Why did I do that? Where am I going to find a bunch of pumpkins?"

The rest of the week, I was getting ready for the wedding, talking with Fr. Vernon (since I had just visited St. Stephen's for the 2nd time), and making plans to meet up with friends in Beaumont. And I would occasionally think about the pumpkins. I figured I could go to the grocery store, but I have been gradually getting more interested in trying to buy food grown locally when I can. I thought maybe I could go online and try to find someplace that sold local produce, but looking for pumpkins seemed kind of trivial. I didn't want to get sidetracked. I would worry about it after the wedding.

The wedding Saturday was great - so much fun - and Sunday I got to see a lot of good friends, had lunch with one of my deacon buddies. Then I started back. The drive was fine, but after about the fourth hour, I figured I should stop soon for gas. It was already dark. I was kind of in the middle of nowhere, but after a few miles, I could see some lights ahead, so I took the exit - the first building I came to was lit up with zig-zaggy neon lights in different colors, and I thought "this is probably not a gas station..." I was about to drive on past and get back on the highway when I looked left and saw a gas station on the other side of the highway, so I took the bridge over to it.
I was pulling in the driveway when it occurred to me that there were pumpkins stacked EVERYWHERE.


I blinked a few times and looked closely at the pumps; they said "Cooper Farms" - maybe this wasn't a gas station, either. I pulled up to a pump. Sure enough, you could get gas there.
You could also get pumpkins - LOTS of pumpkins.
Turns out, this was a creative marketing idea the farm had come up with: a gas station/point-of-sale for the produce. And the farm was just a few miles away. I laughed - I hadn't even been thinking about the pumpkins. Here they were, problem solved. I went inside and paid for my gas, along with a bunch of pumpkins. One of the guys who works on the farm helped me cram them in my trunk and on the floor of the back seat. Then I got in the car, put on my seatbelt, and started laughing - I laughed for the next few miles, and off and on the rest of the way home.

God KNEW me: he knew I wanted to buy a bunch of pumpkins, he knew I needed gas, and he knew where I could find both of those things right then, in the middle of nowhere, on a Sunday night. I hadn't asked him to help me with any of that; it wouldn't have occurred to me that such a solution even existed. And he didn't tell me; he just took me there, pulled his hands away from my eyes and said "Surprise!" and sat there with a grin on his face. Such a random thing - why would God bother helping me find pumpkins? Why would he care about that? And he seemed to smile at me and say, "Why wouldn't I?"

To God, all hearts are open, all desires known, and from him no secrets are hid

Lord, you have searched me out and known me: you know my sitting down and my rising up; you discern my thoughts from afar... my body was not hidden from you, while I was being made in secret and woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes beheld my limbs, yet unfinished in the womb...

God knows all about me

If you have seen the movie Avatar,
What do the blue people say when they greet each other?

"I see you"
And what does it mean?
It means "I know you - I see who you are at the deepest level."

This greeting comes from isiZulu:

Sawubona - I see you
Yebo sawubona - yes, I see you, too

Another response in some places is: Ngikhona - I am here

It's similar to what people say in the Bible when God starts talking to them. They say "hineyni" and what it means is "Behold me" which is sort of like saying "look at me" or "see me" and it's usually translated into English as "Here I am."

It's how Moses responds to God speaking to him from the burning bush.
It's Isaiah's response to God's question "Whom shall we send, and who will go for us?" "Here I am, send me"
It's Mary responding to the annunciation, when the angel Gabriel told her the news about Jesus "Here am I, the servant of the Lord..."
And in our Old Testament reading for today - little Samuel hears someone calling his name, and his first response, even though he didn't know who he was responding to, was "Here I am, for you called me"

Which brings us back to Nathanael.
Jesus calls Philip, and Philip calls Nathanael to "come and see" what he's found.
as Nathanael's walking up, Jesus says "Here is truly an Israelite in whom there is no deceit" and Nathanael isn't sure what to make of that. "Where did you get to know me?"
Jesus tells him "I saw you under the fig tree before Philip called you."
Whatever it was Jesus was refering to about the fig tree, Nathanael knew, and that convinced him that Jesus knew him at the deepest level. Jesus said to Nathanael, "I see you," and Nathanael is suddenly able to respond to Jesus, "I see you, too."
In a 180-degree turn from his earlier attitude of "Can anything good come from Nazareth?" Nathanael says "Rabbi! You are the Son of God! You are the King of Israel!"

The next time God says, "I see you..."  try to respond like Moses, Isaiah, Samuel, and Mary - and say "Here I am"
Or you can respond like Nathanael and say, "Yes, I see you, too"

Which brings me finally to the Gospel according to Randy Bachman and a great interpretation of what Jesus said to Nathanael afterwards. "Do you believe because I told you I saw you under the fig tree? You will see greater things than these...."

In other words

Bbbaby - You ain't seen nothin' yet!